


Trouble

by alicewonder87



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:11:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21843268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicewonder87/pseuds/alicewonder87
Summary: He's always loving and leaving her. She's always telling herself to move on, but it's hard to move on or forget a Winchester.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this sitting in my stuff for months now. I was inspired by Taylor Swift's song "I knew you were trouble'. I borrow some of her lyrics and I don't own any of them. There was something about this song that was compelling me to write about it, but I had nothing for months. I was busy with class and this kept bugging me. I finally broke through that writer's block tonight. This is pure angst. Hope you like it!

"How can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me."

I didn't have to roll over to see he was gone. Didn't have to reach over to feel the imprint he'd left in my bed was cold by now. I closed my eyes, fought the rising tears that quickly slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks. I pressed my lips together and mentally kicked myself for falling for his charms again. 

I swore this wouldn't happen. Swore that when they'd arrived back in town, I would say no. I would yell and scream at him, tell him how he'd completely ruined me for other men and how I wasn't going to fall for any more of his lies. But all my resolve fled the instant I opened the door and faced those eyes of his. 

Each time I saw him I could swear they were a different shade of green. Sometimes they reminded me of the moss that clung to the trees in a forest, other times they glittered like emeralds, but each time I saw them I was reminded of how beautiful they were. His lips were turned up into a smile that never failed to make my knees weak, and he knew it. 

I felt any anger I had toward Dean melt away. He flashed me that smile and stepped in so effortlessly and I couldn't remember why I was so angry with him. Instead, I fell into his arms, let him explain away his absence, listened to him swear that he'd never break my heart. 

That night was a blur, but I can clearly remember falling into bed with him, forcing myself to stay awake amid the waves of sleep that were rolling over me. I felt his large hand on my cheek, felt his lips gently touch mine before he whispered what he always whispered. " Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." 

My heart always clenched at the obvious lie, but I always fell asleep anyway. I breathed in his scent and it wasn't long before I was sleeping, my heartbreaking as the pattern continued. Dean always pretended he didn't know why I was hurting, but I knew he was aware on some level. 

The memories forced me to sit up, sliding my hands over my face in the attempt to keep my tears at bay. I slipped from the bed and quietly walked down the hall to the kitchen. There on the fridge was his note: Had a case, gotta go. Love you. 

I heard the soft beep from the coffee maker and sighed. He always made fresh coffee before he left, and I was never really sure why. It was just something that he did. My favorite cup was placed next to the pot and I made myself a cup. 

I walked toward the door, opening it as the first rays of the sun crept over the horizon. The glorious reds and pinks swept across the sky, creating a beautiful sunrise. I sipped my coffee and felt the cool winter air of Kansas seep into my bones, into my very soul. Now I could see clearly. 

For months now, I had tried to understand his pattern. Why was he leaving? Why was he always coming back to me? Every time that I swore I wouldn't let him break my heart, those promises would melt away at the sight of him. As I stood on the front porch in the light of the new morning I felt that fear creep in once more. 

Did he even love me? He always signed his notes that way, but did he? Did he love anyone, besides himself? I felt like a joke, but I knew that despite any promises I made right now, things would never change. He would be gone for months and I would pick up the pieces of my heart, forcing myself to move on even though I loved him so much. 

Then he would return and I would be in complete heaven until he'd left. This was such a vicious cycle and I knew I was powerless to change it. There was something so wonderful about being loved by Dean Winchester. Something that made it impossible to want to leave, or lose his love. 

I knew he was trouble when I saw him. I had only one person to blame for this mess, and it wasn't Dean. It was me. I held the coffee mug in my hands and closed my eyes against the dawn. One thing was for sure: I didn't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are. And I was totally and utterly lost. Lost in the cycle of love and anger. Lost in that heavenly feeling that only comes from loving a Winchester.


End file.
